


Pr-INK calls

by Arola_Tsae



Category: Bendy and the Ink Machine
Genre: Gen, I dunno I might do a sequel, One-Shot, probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-03 03:32:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10234910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arola_Tsae/pseuds/Arola_Tsae
Summary: Haha, I’m hilarious. This is just a fic about Bendy prank calling people. It was really fun to write.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Did you know that prink is an actual word? Prink: v. to spend time making minor adjustments to one’s appearance; primp. Neat, huh?

“Good morning! this is Sam’s Deli with the best dang grilled cheese sandwiches on this side of the Mississippi. How can I help you?”  
“Well Ma’am, I simply have one urgent question for you: Is your refridgerator running?”  
“Oh! Why, I do believe it is.”  
“Well you better go catch it!”-click.

“Lawrence Residence.”  
“Is a gal named ‘Jenny,’ at home?”  
“Sir, no one by the name of ‘Jenny’ resides in this house.”  
“...She told you to say that didn't she. DIDN’T SHE?!”  
“Sir, I promise no one here is named-”  
“OH, well this is just rich. A gal leaves a guy standing outside the theater for FIVE HOURS and pretends she ain’t home. Ain't this just swell.”  
“Sir, I apologize for the misunderstanding and give you my deepest condolences for being stood up.”  
“I was not stood up!”  
“But this ‘Jenny’-”  
“I was abandoned! Cheated!”  
“Does not live here-”  
“Scorned! Scoundreled! Hooly-hopkined!”  
“I'm going to hang up now.”  
“Flabber-gailed! Cathoodled! Rhapfooted!”-click.

“Hullo?”  
“Good evening sir! Have you ever heard of the Yodel Meter?”  
“Bendy is that you?”  
“Ah, yes the Yodel Meter, probably the most innovative invention of our time. What better way is there to measure the power of your yodel? There's none! Order now and receive five hundred Yodel Meters for only $700! Reach your full yodeling potential with the Yodel Meter today!”  
“Bendy, you tried to selling me a Yodel Meter last week.”  
“Oh no! We’re breaking up! How dreadful. See ya later Boris!”  
“Wait just a gosh darn-”-click.

“Who iiiiiiis it?”  
“Bendy if you don't stop botherin’ folks this second-”  
“Me!? Bother people!? Boris, I am appalled you would think so low of me. I would never!”  
“Yesterday you put a bucket of ink over Mr. Malvin’s door.”  
“He deserved it!”  
“And then you put a fake spider in Mrs. Lory’s shoe.”  
“She gave me a dirty look when I walked in front of her house!”  
“You ran across her flower bed carrying a bucket of ink, spilling it everywhere while singing, ‘Sweet Violets.’”  
“That was fun.”  
“You have to stop!”  
“Hmmmmmmmmm… Nah. Oh! And Boris?”  
“What?”  
“There should be around five hundred or so Yodel Meters arriving at the house today. I won't be there so if you could cover the bill that’d be just swell.”  
“WHAT?!”  
“Thanks for being such a pal!”  
“No wait! Don't hang-”click.

“...Hello?”  
“Hello Miss! May I interest you in the new and marvelous invention-”  
“Kenneth is that you?”  
“Uh...no, I'm just-”  
“Kenneth you need to stop calling me! We’re over, done, no more! You cheated on me for the last time! If you like those other girls so much, go date them!”  
“Wait...girls? How many girls?”  
“...Eight.”  
“Pffft-HAhahaha. And you stayed with that loser?”  
“...Is this really not Kenneth?”  
“Well DUH. But Miss, heheh, you must be really thick in the head if you’ll stay with a guy after he cheated on you with eight different girls.”  
“I’m not with him anymore! We broke up!”  
“Uh-huh. Well, it sounds like the next time he comes to your door with a bouquet of roses and eyes full of crocodile tears that won’t be true anymore.”  
“I mean… If he gives me roses.”  
“HA! Listen honey, I’m gonna give you some advice. Next time this Kendal-”  
“Kenneth.”  
“Ya, sure, whatever. Next time he comes over I want you to take one look at those roses, look him straight in the eyes, and tell him where he can stick them.”  
“Where?”  
“In the trash of course! Where he belongs. Then you slam the door in his face and go find yourself a better man. No man who’ll cheat eight times is worth his ink.”  
“Yeah...yeah you’re right! I’m not gonna let him back in my life! Roses or no he’s not worth it! His treacherous, sinister...sad...deep...beautiful blue eyes….WILL HOLD NO MORE POWER OVER ME!! I’m done forever! No more Kenneth!”  
“Mhm-hm. Sounds great. I’m soooo proud of you. Oh, and by the way, is your refridgerator running?”  
“...Yes?”  
“Then you’d better go catch it!”-click.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I actually calculated how much i think 500 yodel meters would cost (and yes, they were really a thing in the 1920s/30s). I couldn’t find an exact cost on google :( but on amazon a metranome/instrument tuner all in one costed $20 so I calculated that if 1$ back then was equivalent to $140 now, then $20 of now money would cost $1.4 back then. Then I multiplied it by 500 and voila! That’s how I estimated it would cost $700 dollars for 500 yodel meters. To put that into perspective, the average cost of a brand new car was $640 back then. Yup. I’m sorry I’m a nerd and I like keeping things as accurate as possible :P


End file.
